Beijing blog
Day 3: ‘Bu hao yi si’: self-esteem and disability
Being in a new environment challenges many of the preconceived assumptions on which your life is built. You may at times feel like a fish out of water, but you also grow, professionally and emotionally, as you get to know more. So it is with disability. It’s an unproven theory, but could it be that many peoples’ initial reaction to disability is discomfort because it holds up a mirror to them, forcing them to confront aspects of themselves that they may feel dissatisfied with? If people think that having these internal barriers broken down is uncomfortable, they should perhaps think how it feels to constantly be the one to have to break them down. But the process is undoubtedly mutually beneficial- both parties grow and learn, and feel more comfortable within themselves and with each other as a result.
Different cultures express the emotion of shame in different ways. China has a neat expression of apology, “Bu hao yi si.” It is distinctly humble in tone and translates roughly as “It pains me greatly that I was unable to help you and I feel very unhappy within myself as a result.” It’s an extremely effective counter. When someone apologises to you in such a sincere manner, you cannot help but feel mollified and sorry that you have made them feel that way. China used to be a culture where difference, standing out from the norm, was regarded as somewhat ‘bu hao yi si’. Foreignness was tolerated with gentle reserve. In this climate it is easy to see how disability could be not readily accepted. But times have changed, and the Paralympics are a celebration of this change.
Day 3: ‘Bu hao yi si’: self-esteem and disability
Being in a new environment challenges many of the preconceived assumptions on which your life is built. You may at times feel like a fish out of water, but you also grow, professionally and emotionally, as you get to know more. So it is with disability. It’s an unproven theory, but could it be that many peoples’ initial reaction to disability is discomfort because it holds up a mirror to them, forcing them to confront aspects of themselves that they may feel dissatisfied with? If people think that having these internal barriers broken down is uncomfortable, they should perhaps think how it feels to constantly be the one to have to break them down. But the process is undoubtedly mutually beneficial- both parties grow and learn, and feel more comfortable within themselves and with each other as a result.
Different cultures express the emotion of shame in different ways. China has a neat expression of apology, “Bu hao yi si.” It is distinctly humble in tone and translates roughly as “It pains me greatly that I was unable to help you and I feel very unhappy within myself as a result.” It’s an extremely effective counter. When someone apologises to you in such a sincere manner, you cannot help but feel mollified and sorry that you have made them feel that way. China used to be a culture where difference, standing out from the norm, was regarded as somewhat ‘bu hao yi si’. Foreignness was tolerated with gentle reserve. In this climate it is easy to see how disability could be not readily accepted. But times have changed, and the Paralympics are a celebration of this change.
I felt very sorry last night, as we watched Henry Wanyoike’s 5000m race. Emotions in the Bird’s nest were running high and Henry ran an absolutely heroic race. It is a measure of his assuredness as an athlete that many assumed that he would easily take the Gold. In fact, having led almost to the end, he was just pipped at the post by the Chinese athlete Zhang Zhen, to the rapturous delight of the mainly Chinese spectators. Henry got the Bronze, and the result was all the more poignant as his Kenyan teammate Francis Thuo Karanja got Silver. As if in sympathy, the heavens opened as we left the stadium. We were scheduled to meet Henry at his hotel after the race, but as we dried off we were told that Henry and his teammates were bitterly disappointed with the result and would not be joining us. I had been looking forward to telling Henry the joy he gave and self-esteem he must have built in others with what he did.
CBM does its best to build self-esteem in Persons with Disabilities. How do we do this? We try to put Persons with Disabilities at the centre of decisions about their life. Doing this creates a ripple effect: in the best-case scenario, one person creates a movement and the whole community benefits. People don’t need crutches or a wheelchair to be empowered as full members of society. Of course service delivery is important, but as a means to the end of enabling a person to discover their own worth. Today we participated in the handing over ceremony of a cheque to help the Sichuan relief and reconstruction effort. It was not a large cheque, but the heartfelt thanks we received let us know that, however humble, our contribution was valued. It is good to know that our work can give us a sense of self-worth.
The Olympic Games can be a rollercoaster of emotion. At its best, it is euphoria linked to the pinnacle of sporting achievement. But we can appreciate the lows as well, the hopes dashed, the runner-up place graciously accepted. In the Bird’s nest last night, I felt that the Paralympians were like gladiators fighting for glory. Some stories would end in despair. But for taking part, far from victims, they are the greatest heroes of all.
CBM does its best to build self-esteem in Persons with Disabilities. How do we do this? We try to put Persons with Disabilities at the centre of decisions about their life. Doing this creates a ripple effect: in the best-case scenario, one person creates a movement and the whole community benefits. People don’t need crutches or a wheelchair to be empowered as full members of society. Of course service delivery is important, but as a means to the end of enabling a person to discover their own worth. Today we participated in the handing over ceremony of a cheque to help the Sichuan relief and reconstruction effort. It was not a large cheque, but the heartfelt thanks we received let us know that, however humble, our contribution was valued. It is good to know that our work can give us a sense of self-worth.
The Olympic Games can be a rollercoaster of emotion. At its best, it is euphoria linked to the pinnacle of sporting achievement. But we can appreciate the lows as well, the hopes dashed, the runner-up place graciously accepted. In the Bird’s nest last night, I felt that the Paralympians were like gladiators fighting for glory. Some stories would end in despair. But for taking part, far from victims, they are the greatest heroes of all.
